The story was heart felt and real. It gave me a real sense of who Erica was and is. I love the joy and excitement in anticipating the first child. The fears and the unknowns. The decisions to be made such as, "do I stay home or do I work." And the feelings of "who am I" when it is know longer just me that I worry about.
Erica is very accomplished in her life with sports and schooling. She seems to love her work and the life she has with her husband. But it is amazing to me to see how when we have a child everything about us changes.The new parental role is something that is hard and rewarding all at the same time. I love it when she decides to stop and enjoy her son rather than do the regular crazy routines that she had put on herself. I find that as a mom the schedule tends to overtake me sometimes. So I have to remind myself what is most important and what do I really need to be doing?
This is a tender moment in the book. One that I am sure she cherishes often.
"I cradled Ty in the rocking chair that morning, ignoring the reminders of the things I could be doing. Instead I savored the pleasure of kissing my baby's sweet face and feeling his little hands clinging to my chest. My to-do list that day became simple: love my son and enjoy my time with him as a mother."
When I had my miscarriage I was very sad. I did not want to eat and I did not want to even function. With the help and support of my husband and mother I was able to have a quiet and inspirational moment in my life that gave me the courage to heal.
So when it was that morning of finding her little boy not breathing and the feelings that came and her trying to do what she could to save him. Then as the paramedics showed up and it was out of her hands, the fears and the screams, the feelings of "this cannot be happening to me." It was heart wrenching. Your stomach sinks and you feel the helplessness that she is going through.
I felt that same way when my brother almost drowned. I screamed so hard ( I was only 10 yrs old at the time) at the thought of him being gone. It brought back that feeling of helplessness.
This is where you find what a strong and amazing women Erica is. No matter what she accomplished at this point in her life. She finds her greatest accomplishment, besides her marriage, is gone from this life. She now has to pick up the pieces and find where those pieces belong in her life and how to fill that void. Some people give up and give into the sorrows and never fully find themselves again.
Erica does struggle, she goes through many ups and downs while trying to find a purpose. She longs to have another child. She wants to connect with her husband, but they handle things differently, so that brings its own challenges and struggles. She also has many family members who struggle through this difficult time as well. The one thing that I love is that she always refers to how the Lord prepared her in many ways and guided her on this journey.
"Taumafai," is a Samoan song that Dan learned on his mission. It is a song that teaches to have courage and strength and to rely on the Christ in difficult times. Which they very much did through this.
I really enjoyed hearing how the Lord had helped her to truly deal with her pain. She was wanting to get pregnant so bad, partly to feel a void. It was not happening and it was making her angry and frustrated. So through the help of her husband and bishop, she goes to counseling.Through counseling she deals with that anger, she learns not to fight the anger. Instead she uses the anger to find the purpose of faith and hope. She learns, that part of healing is going through the pain, not avoiding it. There is a beautiful poem that she puts in the book. You will have to read it to see what it says. I really enjoyed the words of that poem and what it meant to her and what it can mean for all of us.
I loved hearing how she turned to Lord as you would a father here on earth. She prayed to let him know of the pain she was in. She used the Lord, as we all should, by expressing all our feelings and not letting the fear that maybe I should not feel this way, be the reason to not communicate with our Lord and Savior. When she referenced Mormon's word of hope and faith in Christ. It helped me to see how they work hand in hand. I was able to see how hope with faith and using those through the atonement of Christ is how it can heal us.
I look forward to reading this again. I feel that anyone going through hard times,whatever it may be can use this book for words of advice and encouragement to there own healing.
"Borrowed Angel is the poignant story of a mother who lost her first child to sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). In this captivating book, the author describes her journey through the gauntlet of grief and reveals how hope can be found, even amid tragedy.
Weaving spirituality with a practical approach to healing, Borrowed Angel reflects on motherhood, the grieving process, and the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Erica Kiefer was born on Christmas Eve in Southern California to an American father whose ancestors arrived from Europe during colonial times and a Thai mother who moved to the US during high school. Adding to her rich and varied heritage, Erica grew up living abroad in Asia, including Taiwan, Fiji, Thailand and Indonesia. She gained a great respect for the beautiful mosaic of cultures found in various parts of the world. After graduating from International School Bangkok, she attended Brigham Young University in Utah, where she earned a degree in Recreation Therapy. Her career as a Recreation Therapist has allowed her to work with at-risk youth since 2007.Erica made the best decision of her life by marrying her husband in 2005 and is currently a mother of three, one of whom awaits her in heaven. Erica also loves singing, reading, writing, and satisfying her sweet-tooth with chocolate-chip cookies. Playing collegiate rugby was one of the most memorable experiences of her life, thus far. Erica’s first book is titled Lingering Echoes, which was published by Clean Teen Publishing in November, 2013. Her newest release titled Rumors, was released in late December 2013 and is a prequel novella to Lingering Echoes. Borrowed Angel is Erica’s first nonfiction work about her experiences with grief and healing over losing her infant son.http://ericakieferbooks.com/?page_id=12
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